19 Ridiculously Simple Lessons in Persuasion

Lesson 8 - Liking

The sixth and final letter from the ASSCURL acronym for persuading is Liking.

People say, "Yes" to people they like. They look for similarities. People will consider you a friend if you tell them a secret. Start small to make sure it remains a secret.

If there is one thing you learn about liking, remember this. Think about what you dislike about someone and always do the opposite. To detect a dislike you must listen to your feelings. Whenever you get angry, hateful, jealous or whatever negative emotion, think about what caused this feeling. The same is true for positive emotions. If someone makes you feel good, then identify what caused this. Track this in your persuasion notebook.

This takes some practice but the feeling is the key. Keep asking yourself, "Do I do this behavior?" Focus on this technique for a week. Set an alarm or remind yourself to analyze the feeling.

I had a bad habit of criticizing people. Because of my nature as a problem solver, I'm always looking for solutions. Most people don't want you to solve their problem. The funny thing is when someone does ask me for help with a problem, I often don't help them.

The computer code for this is:
  1. Event occurs or message received
  2. What is the feeling?
  3. If positive then copy this
  4. If negative then don't do this
Some elements to liking are covered throughout this book.
When you can get someone to like you they're easier to persuade.

Some methods are:
  • Compliments especially Subtle Compliments
  • Never Criticize
  • Showing interest
  • Active Listening
  • Build Rapport through mirroring aka isopraxis

    Then there are things you can do to annoy people. This will make it harder to persuade them.
  • Poor hygene
  • Making too much noise
  • Excluding people
  • Complaining
  • Interrupting
  • Talking behind people's back
  • 1. The Like switch has a method to determine if someone is lying
    2.The Like Switch
    3. Persuade Like Hitler
    4. steps to persuading like learning to juggle
    5. Compliments (g)
    6.Did you ...
    7. Mirroring (Isopraxis)
    8. Humor/comedy
    9. Pacing and Leading
    11.Talking too much about yourself
    12. Disagree with someone's idea
    13. Talking behind people's back
    14. Criticizing
    15. Rude
    17.Small talk
    18.Things in common
    20.Establish commonalities
    21.You seem like a nice person. What do you think of someone who takes up to much room
    22.isis, persuade like
    23.Trump, persuade like
    24.Really! You don't know that?
    25. Don't make fun of people
    26.Talking at too low a level to someone can be insulting
    27. Mocking people
    29.Know it all
    30.Micro manager
    31.Deprival Super Reaction Syndrome
    32.Give Credit
    33. Embarrassing your boss or co-worker
    34.People crave praise
    35.Never delay your boss when asked to do something, Never make them wait I'll be there in 5 minutes... is bad
    36.I enjoy the taste of something and someone says "that tastes like playdough"
    37.Taking/Giving credit for others work
    38.Don't embarrass your boss in front of their boss
    39. Delays
    40.Getting someone to open up
    41."I" vs. "you" make sure you're not singing "me, me, me me"
    42.No "Hello"
    43.Pointing outs someones flaws increases their dislike of you
    45.What are feelings like feeling sick (g)
    46.Spitting while talking (g)
    47.What time are we meeting them? 5:30 like you said
    48.Treating smart people as stupid
    49.Noticing a negative behavior and saying "Boy you're lazy" or some other negative
    50.That's a really good idea vs. You're idea sucks
    51.Treating smart people like they're stupid
    52.Think before you speak. Will this increase or decrease liking
    53.You should..
    54.6 Brilliant Tools to Make You Look like a Pro Landlord
    55.Warning someone about a behavior that they believe helps them
    56.I don't like super-hero movies. What if person loves them?
    57.Try to get someone to dislike you
    59. Smart people are disliked
    60.Ellen DeGeneres Jokes to get likability
    61.If you're watching on Youtube, hit the like button and subscribe
    62.Ask for a favor - Ask someone who dislikes you for a favor and they will like you
    63.Use "very much appreciated" vs. "really appreciated" (sounds like a lie say "really"
    64.The facts don’t matter. Facts never matter. What matters is that the “crazy racist” label picked up enough confirmation bias to stick like tar
    65.Picture just what your life would be like if you had thousands of subscribers on your mailing list.
    66.People don't like being around negative people
    67.Get your boss to like you better than the other employees on the team
    68.Be likable, friendly, smile
    70.If you'd like to be added to the waiting list, enter your information below, and you'll be the first to know when we open more seats. -- Ramit
    71.the stories most likely to make headlines are THE ONES LEAST LIKELY TO BE TRUE
    72.Rather than trying to figure out why you are like that or why you struggle, focus on identifying 3 behaviousrs that could change that problem even if you don't understand why
    73.What is it you struggle with or don't like about yourself?
    74.You've helped me out so much that I'd like to return the favor. If there's anything you need help with just let me know
    75.It's your job to present exactly how you'd like to work togeter and the specific benefit of doing so
    76.Law of the Universe: People are 6x more likely to make a deal with someone they like.
    77."It sounds like you're emotional about this vs.
    78.It sounds like you're passionate about this"
    79.People don't liked to be laughed at
    80.dress like your audience when giving a speech
    81.What would it be like if..
    82. Strategies to be more likable
    83.People say yes to those they like
    84.like similar
    85.like getting compliments
    86.like cooperation to mutual goals
    87.We are Asian. Like you.”
    88.… is how comfortable you are with yourself, most people aren't like that
    89.Say commands so it doesn't sound like you're bossing people around
    90.Out linear minds do not like nuances and reduce the infomration to the binary "harmful" or "helpful"
    91.The rule for reciprocity was so strong that it simply overwhelmed the influence of a factor—liking for the requester—that normally affects the decision to comply.
    92.Reciprocation can overcome a dislike for the requestor
    93.As the extreme persuader I do a high ground maneuver "If this looks like a meltdown you must be frightened by everything you see
    94.Do you consider yourself adventurous and like to try new things
    95.There can't be all this smoke without any fire but the media is creating the smoke as far as I can tell it looks like fake smoke (scratches head)
    96.because China is willing to wait 400 years for something to develop. (talks as if china) I like where this is heading 400 yrs is good enough.
    97.Cause they're always a little bit more mature, doesn't it feel like that consistently more mature"
    98.I have a thought experiment in there about abortion and it goes like this...
    99.So if you're an X and you're trying to decide Y in the old days without an internet you couldn't organize like you can now with social media
    100.I'm saying today if X went away it would look like Y
    101.Meaning all his preferences for policies and the way he'd like the world to be is based on a high level of empathy
    102.names like dept of defense vs. dept. of war
    103.Seeing people more increases liking
    104.we liked being liked
    105.same tribe, acts like us, a relative
    106.Nothing drasws a crowd like a crowd
    107.Rules for getting leader to like and promote you
    108.I call Bill Love Mr. Bill trying to be funny and sense he doesn't like it. I don't like ppl saying beam me up scotty
    109. 7 ways to increase tips from like switch
    110. 13 things I dislike about Olga
    111.I will vs. I'll probably, I'd like to, I'll take a look, I might, I'll try, I should🔝

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