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19 Ridiculously Simple Lessons in Persuasion

Lesson 8 - Liking

The sixth and final letter from the ASSCURL acronym for persuading is Liking.

People say, "Yes" to people they like. They look for similarities. People will consider you a friend if you tell them a secret. Start small to make sure it remains a secret.

If there is one thing you learn about liking, remember this. Think about what you dislike about someone and always do the opposite. To detect a dislike you must listen to your feelings. Whenever you get angry, hateful, jealous or whatever negative emotion, think about what caused this feeling. The same is true for positive emotions. If someone makes you feel good, then identify what caused this. Track this in your persuasion notebook.

This takes some practice but the feeling is the key. Keep asking yourself, "Do I do this behavior?" Focus on this technique for a week. Set an alarm or remind yourself to analyze the feeling.

I had a bad habit of criticizing people. Because of my nature as a problem solver, I'm always looking for solutions. Most people don't want you to solve their problem. The funny thing is when someone does ask me for help with a problem, I often don't help them.

The computer code for this is:
  1. Event occurs or message received
  2. What is the feeling?
  3. If positive then copy this
  4. If negative then don't do this
Some elements to liking are covered throughout this book.
When you can get someone to like you they're easier to persuade.

Some methods are:
  • Compliments especially Subtle Compliments
  • Never Criticize
  • Showing interest
  • Active Listening
  • Build Rapport through mirroring aka isopraxis

    Then there are things you can do to annoy people. This will make it harder to persuade them.
  • Poor hygene
  • Making too much noise
  • Excluding people
  • Complaining
  • Interrupting
  • Talking behind people's back

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